I find myself in something at a pivot point, as the Americans say. It’s a position that many entrepreneurs find themselves but are almost ashamed to admit it. Admission is viewed as failure. It’s the yearning for a job.
The solid, security of the 9-5. A paycheque at the end of each month, health insurance, paid holidays, a pension plan. To go further it’s an HR department, IT department and offices you don’t have to worry about paying for. It’s colleagues and a role you can switch off from at the end of the day and not keep you up in the wee hours of the morning.
The problem is having left employment 15 years ago to set out on my own and raise children, I’m unemployable. I like working my own hours, I’m not great at water-cooler chit chat, I see inefficiencies everywhere and crave the autonomy to press ahead with my own ideas without committee. On reflection I was like that from the beginning of my working career – I constantly saw ways of doing things better. Something my bosses didn’t like hearing from a 20 year old early graduate with only McDonalds, Pizza Hut and a haberdashery factory on her CV.
So where does that leave me now? Probably still unemployable. But burning with ideas, energy and ambition. The only question mark is over the where, what and who. And exciting place to be. Honestly, how many of you self-employed people feel the same?